anyway, exams are finally over, but it = attachment !!!

though it sounds interesting to go over to jurong island to have an attachment, but i bet it will be definitely be tiring. frankly speaking, i am so afraid of getting myself breaking down. tiredness is the greatest weakness in me.

Tiredness is my flesh! and the devil is attacking and always attacking the flesh!

i have to stay strong and faithful! though i know that i will still get myself tired, but i believe that getting myself tired is my winter season. after the tiredness is the refreshing season of fruits. which is reading the word, praying and having my quiet time. and most important service!

I had friends that asked me, since u are tired, why not give up in the walk?

telling the truth, this idea did come into my mind sometimes, even now. but God always remind me that w/o Him, I won't be here! to suffer for Him, is like understanding the feelings of Jesus. 

Have you thought of how Jesus feels at times? No! 

To me, i think many christians are taking advantage of Jesus washing one sins when we asked Him to forgive us.

He always give us chances.

But does anyone thought of Jesus' feeling and God's?

Don't u think that they will feel a heart break?

Looking at their children and fellow disciples falling back into sins again?

I do think of it! at times, i really wanted to know how Jesus and God feels?

Do they cry? Do they get angry? 

Just like what the bible says in Ezekial, even the angels are made in the image of a man, but they are of 4 faces. one of them are the feel part which is the humanity.

Since they do have the humanity, so i think God will have too!!!

In the bible, it's written that we are made out of God's image!!!

I know it isn't me writing things that are spiritual or anything, but i did some thinking!

i am really really feeling sorry for myself at times. 

I am at an age of 19 this year, and i am still sinning!!! sinning in a way of e right and wrong things.

been in church nearly 4 years. be exact, it is 3 years 5 months!

when i look back, i can't see the change in me, but friends ard me said that i changed.

When they point things out, i realised that it is true.

back then, i don't really talk to strangers or i can say is new friends, 

even if i am a new friend, when the members talk to me, i only answered their questions and den full-stop.

but now? All glory to God! i tks God for His grace and the faith that He has in me.

He groomed me to someone that who can speaks confidently infront of ppl.

Though at times i do still have problems in my speaking as my tongue always get tied up! u get what i mean?

and i will get stuck!

But i will still cont' to work harder!

3 years back, i didn't expect myself to be a connect grp leader.

but it was abt 8 months ago, I was called to be one.

At first, i was actually quite blur and unsure abt it, and i didn't do anything to it of tell anyone.

and this cont' till LYL camp. One of the meeting of held my Zhen ying!

i can't rmb the exact word, but is abt fulfilling my calling.

Then something strike me. Then i realise that months back it is God that spoke to me. and telling me to be a connect grp leader.

Then i realised that God didn't call ppl that are ready to be something for Him, But He called those that are not ready and unsure abt it to glorify Him.

He's the one doing the miracles! He wanted me to a connect grp leader, and something i hated most is bearing and holding up responsibility. whenever there is one, u will see me running away frm it.

though i am new in this helping out in the cg, God teaches me things! and with ppl ard.

ex cg members that are not in the same cg with me or same zone with me.

things they pointed out to me, i rmb-ed and i adapt to it.

like what Pastor Kong said, "Nothing is constant, except for changes. wherever you go, Change is there and is constant"

adapting is also a change.

Been quite a long time since i had a long post, but i really feel that i need to say these things out. even if there aren't anyone reading.

But i tink i have the responsibility to keep this blog of mine going.

Starting with lil responsibility... 

being a connet grp leader isn't that fun, it is tough but is the serving of ppl!

Cindy leong once said that she is happy that she is able to invest in us. the us are ppl are ppl that are once under her.

though she isn't a leader anymore, but i really look up to her and respect her.

Investing in us. frm these 3 words, i think that investing in ppl is like serving the teaching the new ones.

and to see them grow stronger and faithful in God!

 beside cindy leong, i tks God great ppl ard me to teach me, counsel me, be there for me and guide me.

Shimin, casandra, qinyan, elijah, zhongping, yanran, jessica, cindy kwoh, gabriel and many many more

there are many ppls in my life, they might not be the one standing out but they are the ones that did a lil thing for me and impact greatly in my life.

being there for me, teaching me, comforting me, guiding me, listen to me

anyway, these changes i had and undergo for these 3 years, these ppl are in it too.

God does miracles for us and implanting ppl/angels ard us to help us and guide us.

Amen!!!