God is my provider

What does LOVE means to u?
i read these on a calender.

~If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
~Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celbration of anothre's personhood
~We came to love not by finding a perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
~Love is like a garden, though beautiful, you still have to weed it to make it loveable.
~To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.
~Love is not blind - it sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
~To love someone is to see miracle invisible to others.
~Love does not begin the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war, love is growing up.
~Love is like playing the piano, First you must learn to play by the rules, than you must forget the rules and play from your heart.
~Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope.
~To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.
~If you express love in a way your partner does not understand, he will not realize that you have expressed your love at all.

~END~

Was suppose to meet faezah at orchard to do fma assignment, but turn out tat we can't cos we cant measure the width of the drain. anyway ifa came too. so wad will three girls do? taking pics!!!

me, faezah and ifa

got these two necklaces from joshrena and jian. nice right??? i love both of them!

anyway on 29 dec night, met martin and terin at 10.30pm at dhoby to go down to zouk.
haoting and alvin were waiting for us there. amanda came late.
me and terin only took 1 pic, cos e camera is too bright! so yeah.
didnt manage to take pic with alvin, haoting and martin. nvm nxt time!

anyway is really right to go club wit e right ppl, or else it will be super sian and lame!!!! :P

this year, my christmas was super nice!
mark came to singapore to visit her sister and my cousin. and to my surprise he brought his 2 friends along.
they are super cute la.
pictures are not with me, will get them uploaded once mark sent them to me.
anyway mark is super handsome, but he isnt my type. hehe
he has a high nose, he is abt 182 cm high, he play basketball wind surfing diving swimming and most of all he plays music!!!
wow, sound like a perfect man right? hahas guess wad he has a flaw! a flaw so big tat really get my irritated!
hehe, yeah he is funny but but but his flaw is tat sometimes he talks too much non-sense and too much lame things.
anyway, i tot he is abt my age 18, but my my surprise, he is actually 23 years old.
omg! he looks super young la.

anyway gifts and presents for chrismas will be uploaded soon, too lazy to upload.
and and my genting trip is fun! all the out door games super nice!
i just love the high elements! OMG love them to the max! i just love the the roller coaster la!
super duper fun! all the turns and upside downs really get my heart jumping out. but i love it! :p
normally ppl will scream for roller coaster, but to my surprise, i didnt scream at all. not even once!
i think i am too shock and scared to scream.
when at the start and the top, at tat moment is abt to fall for the first fall, i was super duper scared.
things get me thinking. lots of things flash thru me. but i really dunoe wad happen.
and nxt my mind went blank and then the fall!!!!

but is a nice experience!

anyway, i really know tat God is always there for me!
i just past my dry moments, my winter season. wad nxt?
will i be ready then?
my winter season, i wasnt ready. it had me stuck there and struggling.
i cleared all the talks and more talks.

the cloud and haze start to clear when i really face the music myself.
and then realised what my winter season abt.

my winter season get me to jump out of that big and deep hole tat i have already stucked in there for years.
not to be able to speak out and pour out my inner self and face them!

God guide me and gave me the strength to do it and i really tks God for the strength tat i am able to overcome it and face it.
He taught me how to overcome it and really teaches me alot thru this season.

Love you alot God!!!! <3

I am addicted to this song !!!!!! :P

It was tiring helping out withe the cell grp appreciation party.
all the decorations, and helping out with the gifts.....

but i was super super shock.... if i am not wrong out of 7 or 10 awards, i was nominated for 5 awards.
and the nomination cards are laminated and cool.
anyway the 5 awards are "The 'YES' award", "Most Transformed award", "The Care bear award", "Tiger time award" and "Fishers of men award".
i was totally shock for all the nominations. i didnt expect myself win or get nominated in any. but i was nominated in 5.
and out of 5, i won 1. is "The most transformed award"
totally shock abt it. tis is something i least expected. if i didnt expect myself to get nominated, i wont expect myself to win this award.
anyway a shock is good at times, to remind myself tat there are many miracles going to happen to me in future to come!!! :P

anyway my samples are here!!!! my facial samples, marvel gel samples and my new toothpaste sample.
hahas cos i might want to change my toothpaste to something tat is more natural mint....

anyway, i really think crying do helps!
something came out recently, bad news.
was feeling awful. first person i tot of was yanran. ok yeah i can tell her apparently everything.
cos i need ppl to listen to me! just listen to me and let me cry out....
yeah.... but nvm tat.
i cried out and seriously, it felt nice!
i totally 'down' as in my stressed and sadness and awfulness.
but yeah e crying was nice.
but something not nice was, i was crying while i walk back home...
yeah, abit emo though but guess wad, seriuosly tat was nice!
yeah though the bad new really hurt me badly

BUT! it get my mind straight up and thru and clear.....
the past emotion posts are totally insane .... yeah hear me speak!
nah.... yeah ok i will speak..... anyway ya i still prefer online blogging sharing my stuff with friends around me... except for secrets i msg my friend(s)... yeah !

anyway, i really have been messed up!
and yeah this bad new get me back to the track.

ok it will totally sound like a professor talking... nah
anyway at times, when we are in tough times, yeah WE HATE IT
BUT, once we were over it, we tend to turn back and say 'bye troubles and setbacks'
and it totally feel nice and free.....

i really regret myself for me back then....
but yeah my weakness still stands. jealousy, throwing responsibility to someone else and getting very irritated easily.
though i am changing abt the 2nd one.....
now i really understand why i dun really stand out, not the whole girl thing.
but being someone tat is handed with great responsibilty....
ppl around me saw it, but i didnt. and i cont' walking and not realising.
it will be super hard for ppl to realise their own weakness.... and everyone had their own old baggage that they do not want it to be around them, but yeah they are.
when thing doesnt turn out at what we had expected, we tend to (yeah can say we run away) push it to others.
hahas.
professor talk....blah blah blah. yeah but its totally true....

i had a period of time out frm my friends and i had seen myself clearly.
cos i have lots of time for myself to think thru things (yeah i really think, most of the time)

anyway, reades or no readers, if u have watched "How i met your mother', i am telling the truth, i learnt some stuffs there... and yeah i am being influence by it!
yeah tats wad i am talking abt!!!!

yeah bye!

SHOO SHOO SHOO! i mean to the term "jealousy" in my life!
frankly speaking, i got jealous easily.... be it inwhat areas....
and i cant handle tat....

its my greatest weakness, and enemy!
jealousy is an emotion and i have let it take over me for years!
i let my emotions and flesh control me....for tooooooo long!
with jealousy around me, i tend to comment! as in comment ppl!
i have been like tat, even after i became christian!

i have let it control me for too long!

and secondly! besides jealousy, i tend to throw my responsibility on someone else, once i had it!
and i have be escaping with it.....

I got to learn to take up that responsibility!
have to pray hard for it!

anyway, i really thought of changing my blogger to hand written diary!
blogger is for everyone!, but diary is for only me! ME ALONE!
some secrets arent meant to share!
but if i have a diary, i might not be using online blog anymore!

hahas lets see how!!!

Tough time always seems longer!
sweet moments are always fast to go.
I had my mind settled, but recently, something triggered it!
u! u triggered it again!
i had my heart and mind arranged! and come again into me to make a mess out of me!

1 of my friend asked me, "You like them, den why not confess to them? may it be crush or admiration"
do u tink i have not? but look at him and him!!!!
they are high up there! they are so perfect!
if i choose, so will they choose right?
i cant take any setbacks or turn down!
it will be so embarrassed!
NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL NOW!
not a single person will understand!
i have to keep it in my safe!
but i really feel like asking jessica for help!
yeah! i did had this in mind, but i just didnt go and ask her....
i dont know how to start!

at times, i totally have to tear..... i admit i have low self-esteem!
compared to them, they are the 10, but me? i am only the 3!!!!
they are perfection!

at times i did visualise me with them!
but i bet it will not come true!

why does LOVE being so tiring, sad, hard????